In doing so, you open the doors of communication again by silently telling him Im totally fine, and we can talk like normal people again.. She has over six years of experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. He's feeling sentimental. Other slightly less important ones are emotional stability, conscientiousness, sense of humor, intelligence, emotional sensitivity, vulnerability, kindness, authenticity, compassion, generosity, humility, bravery, money. Take care not to over-analyze the situation. If you want . When he feels the need to speak to you, he will contact you. When he offers you that friendship months down the road after the breakup, put your guard up. texting and phone calls. What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends? The sooner you let her know she cant contact you anymore, the better. For me. In the heat of the moment, we all say things that we dont mean or regret later. After all, who better to understand them than the person they went through a breakup with? Instead, you may focus on yourself, engage in activities you like, and work towards healing yourself from the past wounds. 2. Remove yourself from the equation, no wants wants the safety / 3rd string QB. Then he slowly grew more distant after I left and I responded by being clingy and not responding well to him not reciprocating interest in me. Right back to the person we are comfortable with. I want to have a normal, simple relationship with her and build a life. I dated a girl for 6 months. That same night we started FaceTimed as friends again all night. But she is not saying. I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he had feelings after sleeping together but that he doesnt want anything more. See a medical professional for personalized consultation. He even said we will get a divorce. She was a little bit rude with me. You deserve more. Id better stay out of this. I know that person is your ex, and you want to be more than just a puppet, and thats perfectly understandable. Things like well always be together and stay friends for life if we breakup are irrelevant. Hey, I broke up with my ex, who we were so compatible with..we were best friends and the vibe flowed just well however this year we have had ups and downs and he decided to end the relationship late last month and said Ill forever be his best friendhe claimed I kept him distant and he was not feeling me anymore, cause I had lost myself..he has made it clear that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore, but well hang around as friends..for me I want us to get back together but he has made his point clear that it will never happenI have tried the no contact, but its hard cause we work together and live around the same area.. After some time, he will turn around and notice your friendship isnt what he thought it would be. If youre on this site, youre looking for solutions in terms of getting back together; not being friends with an ex that left you (or the person that maybe you broke up with.) Well me and my girlfriend weve been dating for around 3 years. I know if I never asked for this, me personally I would never talk about any other girls in front of her. The breakup doesnt entail just the physical split, but rather a complete separation from each other. My Husband Still Works With The Woman He Had An Affair With. At the time, we were both really stressed and having small arguments, but I thought it was mostly because I was stressed about a certain circumstance. Melinda, 46, a journalist, confides: "I can't really completely heal from the breakup unless we stay in touch. We hadnt said anything to each other all day, and he put one of those YOLO things on his story where people send you messages anonymously. 1. What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? For some reason, hes trying to weasel his way back into your life. Ive said it many times and have even written a book about it. If you dont want to be friends with an ex its because you want to move on from your relationship, turn the page, and move on while you rebuild yourself. Friends can fall out of love, and that's not uncommon or unusual. It was mind boggling. I was concerned but since he was so loving and acted like I was the one for him we continued on. Required fields are marked *. Were going to explore this type of situation today. Your ex isnt the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart. She put me on a slow ride of secretively killing our relationship while we are still together and I am doing all I can (even being very sick and a difficult phase of my personal/professional life). But be honest with yourself. Save. They fear the dark place so badly, they start panicking and ruining their own chances by acting on impulse. Whether thesituation is making you happy or making you feel anxious, you dont really know what to do so youre going to have to put things into perspective before you act. He has no intentions of staying friendly . I did not understand how could he suggest that. As Im sure youve understood, this article is principally about getting back together. You will in all likelihood, be starting off with a whole lot more baggage than what brand new couples would be. If you have made the first contact after the break up but he hasn't responded with even a rejection then it can be highly frustrating. At some point he has to move on! I strongly suggest that you get ready and cut your ex off. THAT would have been nice. I was not expecting that, we were never boyfriend or girlfriend but we both acted like it and obviously set up red flags for each other by speaking about very serious things when we were together. Accepting your exs friendship and turning up the neediness is never going to work. 4. I would describe the gift of friendship from your ex similar to getting that 50th pair of socks for Christmas. I tried to do no contact three weeks ago, and yesterday he reached out saying how proud he was of me for starting my business that I was planning. We havent spoken since this phone call (yesterday). We have been three for three years before we got into our 6 year relationship. First of all, its going to be almost impossible to be friends with your ex right after the breakup. Although you may like to explore friendship, you may be haunted by several questions, such as why do they want to re-enter your lives after all the unpleasant events? Why does my ex want to be friends years later? As you know, people dont tend to learn much the nice way. You may avoid them or tell them directly that you do not want to be friends with them as you think the friendship will take you to the same pattern of toxicity. He reasoned that he wanted me to be happy. So I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, 6 months into it I broke up with him because he didnt seem to care about me (he said he did but his actions did) eventually we got back together as he said hell change etc now a year later Im smarter and wiser and realised that all we have thats good is in the friendship box, no intimacy no partnership just good conversation. Remember, if you re-enter your exs life, you will do so as friends. This past week he called me to tell me he misses me, that he has been having a hard time with the breakup, and wanted to make sure I was okay. Hi, my ex and I broke up 18 months ago. There was still some chemistry between us. As long as your ex wants to be friends and only friends, you should exhibit very little interest. In most cases it is possible to get back with an ex when you have a positive attitude and outlook. Even though she went their things were actually going pretty well between her and me for a month, until she started meeting new people and I started feeling the need for her time, because of which we had arguments and where she ended up breaking up with me, rather she said we may come back in a relationship after her 1-year master or 3-5 years down the line, she further said that she wants to be friends with me and doesnt wanna end up talking. Does your ex want to be friends with you after a breakup? Moreover, you maybe dont understand why it has to be platonic between you. This time follow a 21 day NC without replying to him if he reaches out in the mean time. I find it now that may be She only wants to be free from the utter guilt of doing something bad to me as a partner and a person by checking on me. Denial or rejection will not happen as long as you keep your neediness in check and dont chase. I just want to be able to be "friendly". This is the most obvious reason. The mix of anxiety and fear of loss, genuinely make you think this is a once in a lifetime opportunity a bargain deal, meant for you to take it. 3. He just came back and asked if he was allowed to be a part of my life. He says that he wants to be friends and doesnt know what the future holds. On the other hand, not every breakup has to be highly conflicted, and two people can always remain good friends. Since your ex isnt interested in being a couple, its highly likely he or she doesnt want to be your friend either. 1. Exes arent interested in a romantic, nor friendly relationship with you. He did not reach out at this point. If a Woman Wants to Keep You as a Friend, Don't Agree to it. 2 you no longer want to be with him. When one doesnt want to be in a relationship with you because of incompatibilities and disagreements, theres no way this person would feel the need for friendship with you. And as it turns out, friendships can lead to a lot of negative outcomes for yourself too. Well she broke up with me in good terms, even thought I still have feelings for her and want her back. Unfortunately, its a black or white situation. It suddenly dawned upon your ex that they enjoyed various advantages while in a relationship with you. Scroll down for six real-life stories from women who are still friends with their exes, whether for the sake of the kids or out of respect for the love they once shared, then head to the comments and tell us what your relationship is like with your ex today. Its a masochistic deed for those who enjoy self-torture. LOL 1 year later I stopped it again. She offered me We can still hang out and have fun. Two days later he messaged me upset that I unadded him and that we thought I didnt want to be friends. Being friends with an ex that wants to control you is pretty much the same as dating them. You need to go back into a no contact this time for 45 days and work on yourself in that time, read about the ungettable girl and how you need to become the best version of yourself. Your ex regrets breaking up with you. After he found out, he broke up with me and I can honestly say that I had regret my decision instantly and I apologized sincerely and promised that it wouldnt happen again. Starting with your No contact and working on the Holy Trinity. He also made the comment that he puts up a lot of walls. "The beginning of my relationship with my ex-husband was friendship. Receiving a text or DM from an ex can trigger some strong feelings. BUT we've got 3 kids together. When I went to visit him we both had a good time. You will be way too needy and want your ex like crazy. I want to be able to communicate. This information is for educational purposes only and not a substitution for professional health services. Walk Away and Never Look Back. I really want this relationship to work and but I have no clue what I should be doing about it, but i just cant let go this person from my life. Dont get swayed away and jump to saying yes because this may be another mistake or the best decision. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. However you are passionate to get him . You and your ex share a past. We then spoke on the phone and he mentioned that it was so nice to hear my voice, but if we pursue a friendship we cant go into it with expectations or our fingers crossed. Breaking up is the toughest phase of ones life, especially when you and your partner have known each other for a long time. When you spend any significant portion of your life with someone, you develop an attachment to them. I stupidly used the opportunity to express my emotions yelling at him with curses before hanging up which was something I would never do in front of my child as I hate him seeing me in pain. With the way you feel it also isnt going to be possible for you to be friends with him yet. But she doesnt acknowledge it. Your partner either wants to be with you or doesnt want to see you at all. He or she is the one who ended the relationship, and must therefore, put in all the effort. It depends on the rapport you share. Perhaps they thought they would be with someone soon after the breakup. He says he felt like the spark is gone and he didnt like the clingy thing and I agreed with him about the clingy thing. Normally when an ex comes back, he comes back for something. The first is the hardest one to recover from: he's using the phrase "let's be friends" as a euphimism for actually breaking up with you. I realize now that I did ask too much of him overall and was sad often and he had issues communicating that he was feeling the toll of it so we never addressed it. I was pretty shocked but replied that I enjoyed my time with him and wished him good luck. Agreeing to be friends is worse than hell. The interest level of this person has to be so high it evens out with your disinterest. I do not know what to do because I do want to hear from him and be with him, but not be just friends. Does he get off on hurting me? In the complaint filed at Manhattan . Im so conflicted. The type of smearing ranges in severity. I loved that about him. Many exes have found themselves back together because they . Should I have no contact or try and be friends? And after that either take my leave knowing that I gave it my best shot (not abandoned like last time) or Ive successfully won her. I know her behaviour. I said what can I do, when covid is over, Ill travel to live near her area and I made all plans. Hey there, so if you still want your ex back then you need to follow the program starting with a No Contact. Generally speaking the more you trust the person the more powerful the conversation can be. 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